Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Goodbye, Brother Alban

Br. Alban Herberger, Monk of the Abbey of Gethsemani, died on September 20, 2006 at 10:04 AM. Upon learning of his passing, some of his numerous relatives made arrangements to attend his funeral on Saturday, September 23, at the monastery where Alban lived for 56 years. While many of his family were in attendance, many more were unable to make the journey to Trappist, KY on such short notice, and undoubtedly wish they had been given an opportunity to say good-bye.

This web page is intended to afford those who were unable to attend Alban's funeral services to glimpse what the immediacy of his passing was like. Please understand that it is not the intent of this page to be either disrespectful nor hurtful, nor is it the intent of these images to unnecessarily sadden or upset Alban's loved ones. Instead, after consulting with family present at Alban's funeral, it was agreed that sharing these images and comments would benefit the family as a whole, and better preserve the legacy of Brother Alban so that all could share in the celebration of his life.

Hopefully, persons viewing this page who would like to share their insights or memories of Alban will do so, and perhaps in time this will become both a viable forum for story telling and a useful archive of Alban's many adventures. Comments and suggestions are welcome, as are your stories and pictures of time spent with Alban.


The arrival at the monastery was unsurprisingly solemn, with faint smiles and pleasantries masking the deeply shared hurt. The dinner small talk, so often loud and uproarious in the past, was appropriately subdued. Following the meal, and with an indescribable electrical storm blotting out the horizon, the decision was made that much of the group would visit Alban, whose body was lying in state inside the church, that evening.

To describe this nightly viewing as anything less than spiritual would be a disservice. The journey to the abbey - all 500 or so yards of it - was harrowing, with thunderclaps roaring overhead and sensational, multi-forked lightning flashes striking every second or two. Upon entering the church, it seemed the contained fury of the sky was finally unleashed, with rain pounding upon the ceiling above, and lightning illuminating the stained glass as if strobe lights were installed beyond their panes. It was then, against the ferocious backdrop of nature outside, that we came upon Alban, lying peacefully at the back of the church.

As part of the ritual of passing, the Monks of Gethsamani took turns reading psalms over Alban's body - a vigil intended to bless his spirit and lasting throughout the full 24 hours leading up to his burial. A monk was seated facing Alban's head, and the lone bright light in the church shown upon his prayer book. Those who had traveled down to visit with Alban sat around his body and in the back of the church, awed by the contrast of solemn prayers being offered and the violent weather wailing outside. The weight of sadness was abundant, yet it was merely the beginning of a loving good-bye.

The following morning, Kentucky's news reports were awash in stories of flooding and damage as 7 inches of rain had swollen rivers, downed trees, and isolated entire communities. The storms had apparently not ended either, for afternoon forecasts predicted additional downpours. Morning at the guest house was again low key, with more family arrivals and continued idle chatter. Another visit to Alban was initiated, with loved ones trickling down to his side in seemingly an order of seniority. First his siblings, then his nephews and nieces, and finally extended loved ones, both those familiar and some acquaintances of Alban's unknown to us.


Lunch gave way to mid-afternoon downtime, all the while leading up to the inevitable funeral services at 4:30 PM. With the rain again falling, family members were shuttled down to the church in groups. The lawn of the abbey was crowded with cars, and entry to the church revealed a truth we all presumably knew: Contrary to the stereotypes of monastic life, Alban had a lot of friends. If not for the rains and their myriad of storm damage issues, one suspects the crowd may have swelled even further.

By this point Alban's body had been moved before the alter, a lone candle lit above his head. Members of the Order began to take their seats in the chancel, while retreatants filled the balcony with looks of curious respect. The funeral began with a long processional of clergy slowly walking up the aisle, eventually enveloping Alban's body in their white robes before its members dispersed to their places .

After 71 years of life, and 56 years as a monk, Alban's final mass had begun.

The highlight of the service was the Abbot's eulogy for Alban, one in which he recited from 15-year-old Thomas (Alban) Herberger's letter to the monastery seeking entry to the Order in 1950. The Abbot also spoke of Alban's deep love of sport, especially of Notre Dame football, and of his work both as farm manger and as the monastery's front desk greeter.

Perhaps most inspiring, he spoke of Alban's thirty year battle with MS, describing God's plan of weakening such a strong man so that he could be humble enough to welcome God fully into his life. The resounding message was that Alban had lived both a life of wry humor and one in devotion to God, despite the trials that life had presented him. The abbot's full homily can be read here.

The mass concluded with an invitation by the Abbott to those wishing to view the burial to reconvene in the graveyard outside the church's apse. Six members of the Order then flanked Alban's body, and following the Abbot's lead, slowly wheeled him down to his grave. The remainder of the clergy followed, joined next by Alban's family and friends. A cool drizzle fell on the assembled mourners, while Alban's body and family were sheltered beneath a tent. After more prayers and some last farewells, a sheet was placed over Alban's body, and he was lowered into his grave and laid to rest. Shovels of dirt were then poured upon him, emphasizing the finality of a devoted life now ended.

And, just like that, Alban was gone.

Following the burial, Alban's family returned to the guest house for dinner, joined by a half dozen monks and priests. The Abbot presented the family with two copies of the homily, while the other clergy recalled stories of Alban's exploits and doted on the youngest grandchildren. An air of lightness began to creep in, and a more jovial attitude permeated through Alban's kin. For the first time in four days the sense of loss was ebbing, and slowly the collected group's voices rose to the decibels more typical of a gathering of Alban's family. While Alban's physical presence was gone, his spiritual energy crackled in the room, brought to life by memories and laughter that had been wanting for days. Outside, the rain stopped for what seemed like the first time in an eternity, offering a spectacular sunset for the family to savor.

Later that night, after the monks and priests had returned to the abbey and the children had been toddled off to bed, the family continued to share stories and admire Alban in family photo albums. Upstairs, the usual suspects were crowded around a television, Sterlings in hand, as Michigan State's football team relentlessly pounded on Notre Dame while building a seemingly insurmountable lead by halftime. Prior to the contest, many of the family had agreed that, for Alban's sake, it was best to put aside our collective dislike for the Fighting Irish and to instead root them on for the love of Alban. Three quarters in, it appeared that a hard weekend was going to be made even more dreary by sport.

But wait...

Lo and behold, as the final quarter unfolded and a steady rain storm settled over Michigan States' stadium, Notre Dame too stormed back, winning a most improbable victory that left many of us suspicious of Alban's heavenly activities. With victory at hand and Alban's spirit undoubtedly pleased, the family drifted off to bed after an emotional and draining day.

Morning arrived with weary smiles and loving farewells, as the family again dispersed to their varied and distant homes. A brief visit to Alban's grave, now filled, was the final punctuation to the weekend's events. The monks had toiled, no doubt ceaselessly, in the previous day's rain to return Alban to the clay soil from which we all rise. Now the brown mud of Alban's grave contrasted against the edging green grass - his final resting place framed like a picture on a mat.

Fortunately for all, the pain of leaving Gethsemani that day was mitigated by the promise of reconvening again in just two weeks time. The family again looks forward to celebrating Alban's life, and to savoring the time spent amongst family that Alban cherished.

Hopefully, you too will be there to share the experience.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you, Dan. Since I was not able to attend I greatly appreciate it. When I speak of him to my friends I often describe him as a child like adult. He was always so open to others. So it was nice to read that in the abbots eulogy.I am so glad and proud to have had him my life. Ruthann

5:16 PM, September 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, what a beautiful story and recounting of the weekend we said goodbye to Brother Alban. I was so happy to be there and be with the Herberger Family. A true Saint of our time!

Jim had enjoyed 17 years in the month of May visiting Gethsemani, Bro. Alban and the other monks with John Herberger. Now he and Jim are enjoying their eternal reward together and hopefully keeping watch over all of us.

Thank you for sharing this story. I will pass it on to those I think would be interested. I feel blessed that Brother Alban touch my life on my journey. Thank you.

SAW

5:35 PM, September 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Dan for putting this together. I told Mark that I believed that his legacy is for all of us to show our children what he taught us. As a Herberger-by-marriage I am so thankful to have known him. Love to each of you. Sara

5:07 PM, October 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dan thank you for putting this together,especially since we were unable to attend Uncle Tom's funeral. He was an amazing person who has touched my life in ways that are unmeasurable. Hope to see everyone this weekend.

9:38 AM, October 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dan, very well said. The fact that a Jewish kid from New Jersey can grow to look forward to visiting a Trappist monastery in rural Kentucky is proof enough of the positive impact Alban had on my life and the lives of his friends and family. Inappropriate humor aside, I'll miss him. I know my kids miss him. I hope you all enjoy the weekend. Jeff

4:39 PM, October 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As Sara, Luke, Anna, and myself arrived at the monastery on Friday afternoon, I said to Sara that it was the first time that I remember in my 38 years of coming to Gethsemani that I was not excited to be there. Usually, as we got closer and closer, first through Bardstown, then down the winding road to the monastery, and finally on the hill up to the guesthouse, my anticipation would build.

It was a hard trip to make this time knowing that there would be no Uncle Tom to greet us when we arrived. It is still hard to think about even now, after we felt we had finally come to terms with the passing of this great and wonderful man.

Shortly after arriving, we decided to go down to the church and say a prayer for Brother Alban. As we walked into the church I was not prepared, to say the least, for what I saw. Lying in state in the middle of the church was Uncle Tom. Already wracked by the emotions of the journey, I simply broke down and cried. For a long time I remembered the good times and just tried to deal with the fact that Brother Alban was gone from all of us. After regaining my composure I watched the kids while Sara made her peace with the passing of this man who had such a powerful impact on all who had met him.

As people trickled in late Friday afternoon and evening, we had some drinks and pizza, and made the decision to go as a group down to see Uncle Tom. As Dan mentioned, the electric storm that was happening all around us was absolutely stunning. Seldom, if ever, have I ever witnessed a storm of such intensity. All about was the continuous flashes of lightning. It was clearly a sign to all that Brother Alban was indeed in heaven above and just letting us know he was still around.

The experience of that night is one I will live with for the rest of my life. The monk reading the psalms, the reading lamp and the single candle the only illumination in the stark whitewashed interior of the church, the lightning flashing constantly and its thunderous crashing, the rain pounding on the roof, and the sound of those crying over the body of this most cherished man. I spent a long time in the church, crying, praying, remembering, and even occasionally smiling, trying to deal with my grief. I did not want to leave.

At this point I would like to say how great it was to be able to spend these last fleeting hours with Brother Alban. To see his face and hold his hands and to just sit with him in quiet repose was critical for me to deal with his passing from this world. He looked great and very peaceful. He was showered with affection and prayer and certainly could see from his heavenly home that he was incredibly loved and cherished during his time here on earth.

The funeral on Saturday was very nice and surprisingly upbeat, at least for me. I had finally made my peace with his death and even managed a laugh or two during the homily. Exactly the way Uncle Tom would have wanted it. Just laugh and accept God's will. Death is not the end just the beginning. If only I was one-tenth as strong as Brother Alban.

The final reality of the weekend was his burial in the pouring rain, again befitting the mood of the occasion, and a final sign from a man who loved a good rainstorm. It was at this time that I realized, as they lowered his body down into his grave, a journey that seemed to take forever, and cast the first shovelful of dirt onto his body, that the next time we will see Uncle Tom is in the next life. And what a great time we will have. To see Uncle Tom up and about, the strapping man he always was, though in the later years disguised within his broken body, is something we all can look forward to.

One final thought about how much Brother Alban was with us all that weekend (in addition to his hand in an improbable Notre Dame fourth quarter comeback)was that on Sunday as we all prepared to leave, the day was sunny and warm and provided everyone with weather that would guarantee us all a safe trip back to our homes.

We are looking forward to seeing the family at the monastery this weekend and will be praying for everyone to have a safe trip. Take care and see you soon

11:49 AM, October 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was only two when my brother Tom entered Gethsemani, so for nearly all my life he has been Brother Alban to me. Aside from his devotion to monastic pursuits, my brother brought together a very large family from around the world for 56 years. They each came to share time with Alban, introduce new additions to the family and Celebrate… with a capital “C”. He loved seeing his family and he was fascinated with family history. Even during my last visit with Alban at the Lebanon hospital in August, he would provide me with insights on the family I had not known previously. I will miss his smile, his unique humor and his brotherly love. Rest in peace Thomas Michael. Your loving sister, Mary Kelly.

1:51 PM, October 04, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dan, thanks so much for putting together this website. I had no idea you were such a talented writer. I have so many memories of Kentucky and Uncle Tom -- swimming in the creek while avoiding the cow "pies," sitting in the back of the pick up truck watching the speedometer so we could report how fast Uncle Tom was driving, blasting hot August days full of horse flies and hayfever, and October nights with bonfires and beer. As a child, I remember never wanting to leave and whining about the short length of the visit.

Uncle Tom was probably one of the most spiritual people we will ever know, yet we never knew! And that man could remember the darndest little details about things said or done years ago.

I think we all knew it couldn't last, but we kept hoping it would. Fortunately, Uncle Tom will be remembered for as long as we live and beyond.

Last week I was talking to Alec about Uncle Tom, and we agreed that he is definitely in heaven. Alec asked if I thought he'd be in a wheelchair there. "Absolutely not!" I replied. "He's running around like a maniac and having a great time." I'm certain of it. Kelly

8:24 PM, October 04, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHAT A WONDERFUL TRIBUTE TO A WONDERFUL PERSON. WILL BE SENDING YOU SOME MORE MATERIALS AS TIME GOES ON. THANKS FOR A GREAT JOB.

colombo / cweber@monks.org

2:57 PM, October 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope you enjoyed the blackberries, Br. Alban.

5:50 PM, October 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it might have been the spring of 1974. I was at a college house party in Lexington, Kentucky. It was a big crazy college student celebration when UK football player, Frank LeMaster was drafted to the Philadelphia Eagles. Once there, I realized I didn’t know many people and my college roommate who drove us to this party had disappeared in the smoke-filled house. I sat there on a couch quietly hoping that she would surface and I could get out of there. Around midnight, as I sat waiting, in through the back door came two men. They were older, maybe in their 30’s. (I was 18.) Their hair was shaved (unlike most long-haired young men dressed in blue jeans of the 70’s) and they were dressed oddly in simple white t-shirts and black suits. They sat down on the couch in front of me and we started a conversation. Their names were Brother Selsus and Brother Alban. They lived at The Abbey of Gethsemani. They had slipped away from the monastery to visit with a friend of Brother Selsus’ who was hosting the party. They told me that they were expected to be back at the monastery for Vigils. They talked a bit about being UK fans and how this friend (I have forgotten his name) sent them (US mail) UK sports news and paraphernalia. He had invited them to come to the party.

I was very interested to meet them because, coincidently, I was in the middle of reading Merton’s, The Seven Storey Mountain. I wanted to visit Gethsemane and they invited me to do so. The next weekend a friend and I drove to Trappist, Kentucky. Brother Selsus and Brother Alban met us and we walked around the land, spent time in worship, visited with cows and saw where the monks make the cheese wheels. It was very interesting and I felt very privileged and thankful. Brother Selsus took us to the top of the fire tower where we looked over the amazing beauty of Trappist, Kentucky and the simplicity of the monastery. That visit to Gethsemane awakened a beautiful spirit of quiet within me.

I kept up a intermittent correspondence with Br. Alban until the early ‘90’s when my life went through a rough patch life that curtailed my writing. I did, however, return to Gethsemani numerous times with friends and groups over the years and took time to visit with him while he was greeting the guests and visitor’s to Gethsemani. When a friend of mine was ordained to the Episcopal priesthood in 1985, he helped me order and purchase an alb made by the monks at Gethsemane. We had a rich exchange of letters in the process of the making of the alb. I remember sending him a copy of The Book of Common Prayer as expression of gratitude from my newly ordained friend. We corresponded later about my own ordination to the Episcopal priesthood.

I am grateful to have had that quite unusual intersection of lives in my biography. Brother Alban’s gifts of graciousness, humor and hospitality hold a special place.

The Rev. Dr. Janet M (Fromm) Dunnavant

2:36 PM, September 22, 2007  

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